Logline Critique 5

Title: Wonder Why

Upmarket fiction

When a reporter shows up at her husband’s funeral, a former seventies rock and roll icon is forced to face the thirty year old tragedy that sent her into hiding, in order to achieve the peace she has never had and help her equally talented son navigate the dangerous life she once rejected.

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5 thoughts on “Logline Critique 5

  1. I like this one. You hint at a mysterious “tragedy” (which piques my interest) and then give the stakes of her son repeating her mistakes. A few minor tweaks: Seventies should be capitalized, and thirty-year-old should be hyphenated.
    Good luck with this one!

  2. Nice, specific without being specific.. tragedy, a dead spouse, a son, and a search for peace. Some grammar or stylistic issues, but those can wash out depending on where this is being sent. I would say, give at least one piece of meat though: even something as simple as a name for your protagonist.

    Best of luck.

  3. I’m definitely interested in this concept! But the “everything shoved into one sentence” thing is kind of throwing me a bit. Maybe break it up a bit so things are more crisp and concise?

    Also, it took me a second to figure out if the MC was the “seventies rock and roll icon” or if they were two different people. Is there a way to write that differently to make that more clear?

    Good luck!

  4. I agree with the former comments – once I “got” the overlong sentence I was quite intrigued! While I am not into contemporary, I was wondering what tragedy could send someone into thirty years of hiding – so bad she only emerges when her talented son might come to face similar dangers. Yes, this should draw people in – faster even if it’s easier to read in shorter sentences maybe?

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