Logline Critique 16

Title: Fix Your Life!

Upper Middle-grade Contemporary Fantasy

Thirteen-year-old Megan is sick of her family. She’s stuck in the middle between her over-achieving big brother and insufferably cute baby sister, and she can’t get the time of day from her parents. Then the producers of the reality show, Fix Your Life!, steal her super-secret-do-not-read-on-pain-of-death journal and grant her wish. Poof—her family disappears. Megan has seven days to solve a series of clues to bring them back or they’ll be gone forever.


8 thoughts on “Logline Critique 16

  1. This logline is great – you’ve got stakes, you’ve got voice, and you’ve got me wanting to read it. The only minor tweak I might add is maybe calling it a “magical” reality show – or somehow indicate that they do have the power to disappear her family forever.
    Also, one small general comment – when I started querying my MG Fantasy it had a 13-year-old MC and I called it an Upper MG, I was told (and confirmed by my agent) that Upper MG isn’t *really* a thing (there’s no Upper MG section in bookstores), and 13 is a dead-zone for MCs. So I had to age him down to 12 and call it MG. Hope this helps, sounds like you’ve got a great story there! Good luck with it.

  2. This sounds amazing! Original, timely spin on a classic story set-up: be careful what you wish for. Only nit in the logline is that you don’t need the commas setting off the name of the reality show.

  3. I really like the premise of this reality TV show and the middle child syndrome and that she has 7 days to fix things. The idea that the tv producers would steal her journal seems far-fetched. Is there a better way to introduce the journal (love the description) without implying the journal was stolen?

  4. I love this log line and definitely want to read the book. Regarding the comment above, about the far-fetched notion that the producers of the show would steal her journal, if you take K’s advice and include in the log line that the show is “magical”, you might also be able to imply that the producers have extra-ordinary powers- and solve that problem, also giving better clues to the genre. Great job!

  5. It’s a great log line, along with what has been said, I’d also tweak “to solve a series of clues” to something a bit more punchy. Perhaps: “to solve the mystery”

  6. So good!! Its very crisp and punchy. In comparison to the other sentences the second sentence stands out as being a bit wordy, but I’m just being picky here – it really is a very polished product.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.